What is the happy reality of our generation?

2014- Present

Bank Jobs were highly sought after.

There are Engineering Colleges in almost every street corner, it seems.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

Redefined

Also, the Indian Economy while growing fast, is not able to provide jobs for sizable number of young men in the nation and that is a problem.

Study of Law (so important in my Dad’s generation gave way to Engineering and Medicine)

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There are also proliferation of IT cells that offer an altered reality of the world, as they would like to see it and not as it really is.

Newspapers also heavily censored themselves- clashes were referred to as “communal disturbances” between two communities. No details.

> Indian Political leaders, for the most part, were all men and some women of the highest educational and moral Calibre at all levels.

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I know that some will cavil that I am ignoring I. K. Gujral, Chandrasekhar, Deve Gowda, Morarji Desai, even the redoubtable A.B. Vajpayee’s stint as PM. But bear with me, for the moment. This is done on purpose and to make comparisons simpler.

Women in India seem to have more freedom, even as they feel more afraid of the general environment.

There is a general atmosphere of intolerance towards minorities, with people unafraid to say things that would’ve been unthinkable in my day.

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I will first attempt to use the nomenclature used to distinguish “generations” -albeit from a Desi Slant.

Boys and Girls were strictly segregated.

Indian Media is being controlled by a few business houses and the news especially foreign news is presented in a slanted way to suit the way, the Govt. would like it to be seen or not seen at all.

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Computers were just creeping in and opposed by the Labor Unions.

Pluses:

Foreign Exchange were so hard to come by in case you had to go abroad.

Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?

1947–1964 ( Post Independence Generation). (Roughly Nehruvian)

Very few boys strayed and even fewer girls.

> The horrors of Partition meant that the Govt would make sincere efforts to put all that behind us and accommodate all faiths.

How do people break a narcissist man's ego?

Education has gotten so much more expensive.

And then we did not have Google, Facebook, Whatsapp, Instagram.

Medical Insurance have proliferated along with US style expensive Doctor Bills.

It’s been over a month since I stopped taking sertraline but why do I still feel side effects like brain zaps and anxiety mood changes? The root cause of anxiety it’s your thinking and I perfectly master that better than before so it’s hard lately.

We had to wait for everything. Cars, Scooters, you name it. Nehru’s socialism meant that like the Soviet Union that he admired: There was a wait list for everything.

Everything is available today without any delay. You have the money, you got it in today’s India.

Schools were fewer. Universities even fewer.

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Your parents chose your career path and also your profession. Aptitude be damned.

2014- Present ( Modi).

Live-in, LGBTQ, none of these made the headlines.

Are there any men who have sex with male dogs?

Hospitals everywhere in India, with excellent care offered.

> River Dams, Public Sector undertakings, Five year Plans galore, HMT, HAL, ITI etc. gave us the aam aami the euphoric feeling that we were on the right track to our deserved place as a great power in the comity of nations.

People got married the old fashioned way (mostly).

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As far as the vast majority of Indians, who lived from hand to mouth, there was hope and relief in a plethora of laws passed.

The big Cities have gotten bigger and is almost unlivable now, traffic wise.

Govt. careers, such as IAS, IPS etc. very quickly gave way to Engineering /Medical degrees in the newly developing India (At least in the South).

1964- 1984–1991 ( Roughly Indira/ Rajeev Gandhi)

Indian industry started to make cars and other goods.

On a personal level.

It was to me, anyway, a relatively chaste period.

> Leaders such as Nehru, Rajaji, Morarji Desai etc. were held to the highest standard and they fulfilled that expectation. The idea that they were corrupt was unthinkable, any more than the thought that one’s parents had sex with each other. It was an age, in retrospect, of “innocence” and not just at the level of us kids.

Hindi Cinema had some great songs and tunes, even if many of us in the South especially didn’t understand such words as Ishq, Waqt, Zulf in the Hindi songs.

Young Kids have a lot of money these days and are getting married much later.

The first flush of aaya rams and gaya rams were creeping into the body politic of our legislature and that is when I left for the USA and that was almost 50 yrs. ago.

> “Secularism” was dinned into our ears until it became “second nature”, to most of us anyway.

Now folks on Quora have undoubtably heard the so-called term “Boomer Generation” used in the US. Interestingly enough these time periods dovetail quite nicely with “Indian Conditions” as well.

Now of course,Today Secularism to many is a dirty word and so is Socialism;

Foreign goods, forget about it, mostly sold in black markets.

I will also assume that this question is posed vis a vis my generation and compare that to conditions faced by generations today.

Boys and Girls these days are not afraid to be friends to each other (My opinion overall a good thing)

South Indian Films have now gained an All India Traction and seems to be edging out Bollywood, as it portrays less of a fake India than Bollywood.

Nehruvian: I belong to the Nehruvian Generation.

There was no TV… Doordarshan of very poor quality only reserved for New Delhi.

It was very very hard for the general category people to get seats in the few Engineering and Medical Colleges in the State, let alone the IIT’s.

Import Substitution was the mantra.

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Even though inflation was rising, there was a semblance of stability in the daily routine of everybody. The institutions and arms of the Govt. worked for the most part. Judiciary, Police, Govt bureaucracy etc.

IIT’s had just been established.

Life went on in essentially as a late 19th/early 20th century mold.

The Airports have gotten better and nicer.

I’m going to attempt to taxonomy “Generations” in India as below.

Many Indian Journalists have now been co opted so that they too are now in the money making business and currying favor with the powers that be. So how objective can their writings be?

Live in relationship; Divorce (almost unheard of in my youth) don’t raise an eyebrow.

> Idealism reigned supreme, about the Govt. and it people and why not?

>Both Central and State. Most of the Leaders were educated in the finest traditions of liberalism, often at Oxford and Cambridge and they had sacrificed their ‘cushy futures” for the cause of independence. When country’s rule passed into their hands, what would one expect?. Little if any corruption at the highest levels, or at least the perception of it.

The middle class was small, but not that stressed from inflation etc.

1991- 2014 ( P.V. Narasimha Rao/ MMS)

Ministers etc. were the only ones to have the Indian Flag on their bonnets. (Don’t know why?)

> India’s population was around 365 million.

5 Star hotels are dime a dozen.

South Indian Cinema had great actors and story lines that we could relate.

The first flush of enthusiasm of the Nehruvian age soon turned into despondency as Public Sector Industry after Public Sector Industry were all running in losses.

Love marriages were all to be ‘gasped at’ so rare were they at that time.

> We grew up basking in the first flush of the pleasant prospect of an “Independent” resurgent India.

Growing up in this decade.

Five Star Hotels were not as ubiquitous as today.